Muted Reality

Grammar

Kitishane — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 07:29:45 +0000

I couldn’t help but giggle!

Y HALO THAR POSTS!

Kitishane — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 07:29:29 +0000

Pardon the influx of backdated posts. I’ve been going back through some of my older journals and copying over anything that really stood out. I think I’m finally done, so any posts from this point forward should be new thoughts, straight from my not so conventional brain. Thanks for your patience!

Sexting – NSFW

Kitishane — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 05:16:07 +0000

So I got bored at lunch today and decided to “sext” Stephanie (her blog). Harry Potter never seemed so dirty… Enjoy the results of our insanity! (NSFW)

Me: This is me Sexting you. Are you hot?
Her: Fuck yes, you’re sexting me! Of course I’m hot.
Me: Oh baby, oh baby, oh!!!
Her: Play scissors?
Me: unF unF unF!!! I just came a little!
Her: Woot!
Me: I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Her: …
Me: Does it get you hot?
Her: Let me polish your wand, baby, and you can play with my pygmypuff. (I’ve been listening to harry potter)
Me: Only if you let me stick my broom up your back dumbledoor, while running my ravenclaws down your back.
Her: Hahaha
Me: I want to bury my hufflepuff so deep in your snitch, that you expeliamus all over my nimbus 5000.
Her: You’re so fucking gross lmfao. Excuse me, I think I need a shower after that.
Her: Also, I’m gonna cast Engorgio on your butthole so we can make our own wizarding goatse.
Me: I love you.
Her: Because of wizarding goatse?
Me: Yar
Her: Accio lube.

Under Construction

Kitishane — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 04:06:23 +0000

Redoing the page again. Please pardon the e-dust.

Revelations

Kitishane — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:29:28 +0000

Take a deep breath…

Take it all down…

Let the warmth consume you…

I opened the bottle for the first time tonight, hands caressing it’s familiar shape as a those of one longing for a lovers sweet caress after so many years without. Inviting the all familiar burn, like the fires of unbridled passion, I pushed the pain away, tossed back my head, and choked down the flames that threatened to undo me. And as though in a daze, I was lulled into a sense of serene complacency, urgency, the desire for more. My own personal time machine, I used this crystalline confidante to forget the pain, erase it from my memory, my soul, my heart, if only for a while.

How easy it is to overcome your emotions when you’ve got a deliquescent inhibition remover that is beckoning you on, further and deeper. Like everything else in this world, it is flawed, and it’s only a matter of time before the euphoria goes away, leaving you the vulnerable, cringing shell of the person you were before, ripping from you the familiar disconnect, the perfect absence, the sweet ecstasy that resides your head.

I will regret this loss in the morning, when I wake, to start my day anew, to face the harsh, cold reality of the world, outside of my liquid safe haven.

Let the warmth consume you…

Take it all down…

Take a deep breath…

My Mimi

Kitishane — Fri, 26 May 2006 18:32:40 +0000

It’s a rare occasion in life when you find someone that is so deeply in tune with your soul that your whole being feels empty without them there. For me, my strongest connection centered around my grandmother, Mimi. She and I had a bond from the moment I opened my eyes, until the minute she closed hers for the last time. She was my confidante, co-conspirator, second mother, and my best friend. She was the one I could always turn to when I just couldn’t go to my mom.

For anyone that knows me, they know that I’ve tried to live my life in a way that my grandmother would be proud of. I may never have completed college, or gone on to become famous, but the work I do helps people who truly need a helping hand. I know that it’s the kind of job my grandmother would be proud of.

A picture surfaced a few years ago; a scene portraying my grandmother, my grandfather, his parents, grandmother, and, the center of everyone’s attention, my uncle. We were taken aback that, in profile alone, I could be my grandmothers twin. It’s eerie how much we looked alike at the same age.

I hope I can go on to leave my grandchildren with the kind of legacy that my grandmother left behind for hers. That legacy is what carries our family on through the rough times, a legacy of laughter, strength and love, and which keeps us so tightly bonded together.

Gods, do I miss her!

Bejebus

Kitishane — Thu, 14 Aug 2003 06:49:11 +0000

Have you ever wondered what a bejebus was?
And if so, why are they so easy to scare out of someone?
Are they important, or just finicky little parasites that live somewhere inside us?
Are they good or are they bad? Are they heavenly or evil?
Do they have names? Is there a Bob Bejebus? A Gertrude Bejebus?

… Just a random thought from your ever so random “Crazy Bytch” …

Home?

Kitishane — Thu, 03 Jul 2003 21:53:47 +0000

I hate it here… I really do…

I realized this as I walked out my front door today and I looked off into the distance at the sky. Instead of seeing beautiful blue skies and white fluffy clouds I saw brown filthy air painted above the rooftops of the two story houses that surround my little hovel.

People wonder why our life expectancies are getting lower and lower. Look at where we live and what we are living in!

I for one am tired of having to chew my air before I breathe it! I’m tired of all the concrete and the cars and the noise and the hustle and bustle and rush of daily life. I’m tired of rush hour traffic and traffic jams and spectator slowing!

I’m afraid, when the time comes, to raise my kids here… who knows what their future will hold…

Gods… This is the only home I have ever known… and yet I find myself loathing it…

Pretty Words

Kitishane — Wed, 12 Mar 2003 09:49:02 +0000

There’s a boy in my life. A very special boy. A boy who I’ve known a long time. He writes pretty words about me, for me, to me. I’m sure if he saw that I’d posted his words here he’d be embarrassed, but I think a part of him would beam with pride that his words would forever be noted in the depths of my journal.

“Muchlies do I love you my winter rose, my daily daphodil, my nightly nymph! I love you as many ways as the stars in the sky, as the grains of sand in all the beaches of all the oceans. Whether the tides change by the moons waxing or wanning, whether the rain falls or the wind blows, nothing shall come between my feelings of love and you.

-Me”

“Goodnight sweet one. Light of my life, angel of my night. May the dreams fall softly around you as the night enfolds you in its calm, quiet embrace. Sleep sweet empress of my dreams, for I will await you in this world and in the dreaming.

Sleep sweet, dream beautiful”

There’s only ever been one other who’s words have touched as deeply as these. In a fleetingly tender moment, words I will carry with me forever spilled from his lips and found my heart.

He did not spin his words like fine silk, nor did he dip them in sugar as to sweeten them. The boy simply said:

“You’ll Always Be My Princess…”

Purification

Kitishane — Sat, 30 Nov 2002 10:23:09 +0000

I’m in heaven…

It is so close to perfection that I almost want to cry.

The rain is pouring down so hard right now that I can’t even hear the noise of the people at the track. All I hear is the pounding of the raindrops on the metal roof above me.

The lightning and the thunder are magnificent. I look out and all I can see is a wall of raindrops plummeting to the ground… I can’t tell where one raindrop ends and the other begins!

Gods the roar is deafening. If I could bottle this and save it forever, I’d never be unhappy again. There’s nothing like the sound of the driving rain to brighten my day.

If nothing else goes right today, I’d still say today was perfect, all because of this gift of the gods, this beautiful force of nature that surrounds my every sense, my sight, my smell, my hearing, my taste and my touch… oh gods how it tantalizes me…

Last night, my cousins and I played in the rain… The cold sting of the droplets against my flesh felt almost purifying as if all negative aspects of my life had been washed away. There’s nothing like a dance in the rain to set your spirits soaring.

… would it be too forward of me to wish you were there dancing with me? …